Big Faith

Faith.

It is easy to say that I have faith when I am seemingly in control of a situation. When I am working, making money, planning every detail out for the next few months; faith is easy. However, when all of that is gone and I hand over control, can I still claim faith? 

I was recently convicted of striving, not trusting that God was going to provide. My plan was to work until the end of June so that I could make every last cent I possibly could to go towards the World Race. The daunting $19,000 seemed much more manageable with this plan. Then in a prayer meeting, I heard Papa say “do you not trust me?” and “why are you striving?”. I was caught and convicted because I was trying to do it all on my own, again.

I have a habit of this and I have been trying to break it for quite some time. I catch myself doing things and then inviting Papa along, rather than slowing down and letting him lead. Anyone else? I am learning that it is much easier when I just hand over control right away, yet culture has so embedded control that it is hard to get this concept from my head to my heart. 

I have been drawn to the Old Testament in this season of preparation. The Old testament, time and time again, tells stories of the faithfulness of God in what seems to be impossible situations. God always comes through in unexpected ways when control is given up. I have been stuck on Abraham. God promised Abraham that he would have a son and be a father to the nations. We know how the story ends so it is easy to skip ahead to the fulfill promised. However, Abraham and Sarah did not know. They had to intentionally choose faith and lean into this promise because they knew there was no human way possible that this was going to happen. Mind you, Sarah laughed when she heard this for the first time. This was her human response to the craziness of this promise over them. It was day after day that they did not see the promise fulfilled, yet partnered with it. It would have been so easy for them to say “this is not for us” and turn away. Yet they did not. What a testimony!! They had no control over the situation. They could not see the end. All they could do was say yes to this covenant that God spoke to them AND God came through!

God is faithful when we are faithless! God’s promises are yes and amen!! God has proven himself faithful time after time after time!

When I think of the definition of faith I always think of the Santa Clause movie with Tim Allen. I don’t know why haha. They are in the North Pole and Judy (the elf) says to Charlie (Tim Allen’s son), “seeing isn’t believing; believing is seeing”. It is not about seeing first, it is all about believing!! I have to choose to partner in faith (belief) with what seems crazy to me. A number that seems impossible to fundraise. When I stand in that, with God in his abundance and provision, that is when I start to see. Faith means I believe that there is a North Pole and that Santa is real. Haha just joking, kind of. Faith means that we partner with the impossible because we serve a God of the impossible. That we jump when we do not know what is below. It is often times scary and unsettling because we have to let go of all control, but I think that is where the fun begins. That is where we get to see God begin to move because there is not even a way for us to do anything. 

So I am all in. I already jumped, said yes, and now am living day by day in intentional faith. On the slow days, I partner with God. On the chaotic days, I partner with God. Each and every day! I cannot see the whole picture and I have no idea how I am going to get to the end, which is the beauty of learning deeper faith. I am expectant to see the ways in which the Lord continues growing my faith, and the ways he shows up. Big lessons requiring big faith! This has already come with some attack, and that will continue no doubt. The enemy never wants us to go deeper. Prayers are much needed!

Thanks for continuing on this journey with me! I am blessed by your amazing support and could not do this thing without each one of you! I have reached my first goal for fundraising, and now am on my way to my next; $10,000 by the end of June! Let me know if you have any fundraising ideas, questions about my trip, or prayer requests!! I would love to hear from you!!

Love and blessings!!

Jackie 🙂